You know that awkward moment when you find yourself doing and agreeing to something when deep down you’re screaming “No!”? Or when you feel you’re running on empty because you’re constantly trying to keep everyone else happy?
What if I told you there’s a way to change that, and it involves boundaries? And no, it’s not about being selfish or unkind. It’s about showing love and respect to yourself and others.
Boundaries aren’t about building impenetrable fortresses or shutting people out. They’re about establishing clear rules safeguarding your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. When we draw these lines, we tell ourselves and others that we value respect, transparency, and honesty in our relationships.
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable. You might worry you’re being selfish or that people will think less of you. But the truth is, healthy boundaries are a must-have for your well-being. Without them, you risk burning out, feeling resentful, and damaging your relationships.
It can be hard to know when you need to set a boundary. Here are some tell-tale signs:
If any of these ring a bell, it might be time to work on setting those boundaries.
Setting boundaries is a skill, and it takes practice. Here’s how to do it in a way that builds relationships and sidesteps guilt:
Start by figuring out where you’re feeling stretched. Are you overdoing it at work? Spending too much energy on family issues? Not giving yourself enough me-time? Knowing your limits will make it easier to express them.
Boundaries only work if they’re communicated. When you voice them, be straightforward but kind. For instance, instead of saying, “I can’t believe you’re asking me to do this,” try: “I’d love to help, but I’m really swamped right now and need to focus on my own stuff.”
Use “I” statements, focusing on how you feel and what you need rather than pointing fingers. This keeps the conversation positive and avoids unnecessary drama.
Saying “no” can be tough, but it’s vital. Saying “no” isn’t a rejection of the other person; it’s a statement of your own limits. A simple “I’m unable to commit to that right now, but thank you for asking” can work wonders.
It might feel weird at first—but trust me, it gets easier!
Some folks might not get your boundaries right away, especially if they’re used to you always being there. That doesn’t mean you’ve messed up! It’s crucial to stick to your guns and remember why you set the boundary. Keep at it!
Guilt can sneak up on you after setting a boundary, especially if someone doesn’t take it well. Remind yourself that setting limits isn’t selfish—it’s self-care. When you respect your boundaries, you’re teaching others how to treat you and being honest about what you can and can’t manage.
The cool thing about boundaries is they don’t just help you—they’re good for everyone around you. When you set and respect boundaries:
Boundaries Are Acts of Love.
Remember, boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about allowing the right kind of interactions.
Looking for more relationship advice and tips for bringing more love into your life? Contact me to create a tailored coaching program to help you have a better relationship.
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